Author: A. Whitney Brown

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Animals Eating Food/Drink

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Emotions Laughter

I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
People

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Communication Emotions Entertainment Laughter

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student; at least they can find Kuwait.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Education Intelligence Learning

China has a population of a billion people; that means even if you’re a one-in-a-million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Characteristics People Places

The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
History Past Time