Author: Alfred E. Neuman Page 4

Blood is thicker than water… but it makes lousy lemonade!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Relationships

If you want to be on the upper crust, you need to have a lot of dough.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money

Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Appearance Body Fat

It’s not the work that keeps most people from doing volunteer work, it’s the pay!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Work

The reason most people talk to themselves is because they’re often the only ones who will listen.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Speech

Experience is what makes you pause briefly before going ahead and making the same mistake.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Mistakes Problems Situations Time

These days, the only time politicians tell the truth is when they call each other a liar.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Honesty Lies Politicians Truth

A plastic surgeon's office the only place where no one gets offended when you pick your nose!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Doctors Health Occupations

A sense of humor is what makes you laugh at something that would make you sore if it happened to you!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Emotions Laughter

The distance between many people’s ears is a block.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Intelligence

If most people said what’s on their minds, they’d be speechless.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Intelligence Speech

Good hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even when you wish they were.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Friends Old People

The world is a place that’s gone from being flat to round to crooked.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Crime Honesty Places World

Fools rush in… and get the best seats.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Fools Intelligence

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Situations Things

If banks are so good with numbers, why are there always eight windows and three tellers?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Places

Politicians are people who get sworn in and cursed out!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Politicians

An argument is two people trying to get in the last word first.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Conversation Speech

In retrospect it becomes clear that hindsight is definitely overrated!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Intelligence

You can be on the right track and still get hit by a train!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Death Life Situations

What, Me Worry?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics