Author: Alfred E. Neuman Page 4

Ever notice how random chance always picks you for jury duty, but not to win the lottery?

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Science/Weather Situations

Starting a war in the name of peace is like poking a hole in a balloon to get more air into it.

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Conflict War

The U.N. is a place where governments opposed to free speech demand to be heard!

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Communication Speech

If banks are so good with numbers, why are there always eight windows and three tellers?

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Places

Ever notice how many government officials make their raises effective long before they ever are?

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Government Money

The same parent who tells you it’s time to find yourself will also tell you to get lost.

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Family Parents

What, Me Worry?

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Characteristics

The reason most people talk to themselves is because they’re often the only ones who will listen.

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Communication Speech

Anyone who says the truth shall set you free has never been to traffic court.

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Characteristics Truth

Plenty of people believe in energy conservation – mainly their own.

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Science/Weather

If you want to be on the upper crust, you need to have a lot of dough.

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Money

Politicians are people who get sworn in and cursed out!

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Government Politicians

America is still a land of promise, especially during a political campaign.

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America Government Places Politics

It's a good idea to save your money; one day it might be worth something again!

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Money

If people wanted your unsolicited advice, they’d ask for it.

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Beliefs Opinion

If most people said what’s on their minds, they’d be speechless.

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Communication Intelligence Mind Speech

These days the meaning of a faithful husband is one whose alimony checks arrive on time.

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Husbands Marriage

Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!

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Characteristics Exercise Work

In retrospect it becomes clear that hindsight is definitely overrated!

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Intelligence

Most bosses never lift a finger at work, unless it’s to point out something you did wrong.

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Mistakes Work

When you're in deep water it's a good idea to keep your mouth shut!

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Problems Situations