Author: Ambrose Bierce

Rite: A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
People

Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

Rum: Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions

Revolution: An abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict Definitions Government

Martyr: One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Games Money

Secret: What we tell everybody to tell nobody.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Twice: Once too often.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Situations

Selfish: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbors. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Deliberation: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Presidency: The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Politics

Reconsider: To seek a justification for a decision already made.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Yesterday: The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Age Definitions Time Young

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Price: Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Emotions Language Love

Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language