Author: Ambrose Bierce Page 2

Birth: The first and dirtiest of all disasters. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Situations

Glutton: A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Eating

Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

Photograph: A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Art Definitions Things

Selfish: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Man: An animal [whose]… chief occupation is the extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions People Women

Truthful: Dumb and illiterate.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Honesty

Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Time

Egotist: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Self

Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Fights Politics Time

Loquacity: A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Conversation Definitions Language Speech

Diagnosis: A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language Money

Defame: To lie about another. To tell the truth about another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies Truth

Learning: The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Language Learning

Mercy: An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language Self

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Congress: A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language Law

Commerce: A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don't know.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Situations Things Time

Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language