Author: Ambrose Bierce Page 2

Critic: One who boasts of being “hard to please” because nobody tries to please him. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations Work

Capitol: The seat of misgovernment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Intelligence People

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Emotions Language Love

Rear: In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Congress Definitions Military

Yesterday: The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Age Definitions Time Young

Connoisseur: A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

Plagiarize: To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Reading/Writing

Truthful: Dumb and illiterate.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Honesty

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

Presidency: The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Politics

Egotism: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Reparation: Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Money

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions

Mercy: An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Learning: The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Language Learning

There never was an impostor so hateful, a blockhead so stupid, a crank so variously and offensively daft… he makes me tired.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Insults Intelligence

Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language Money

Discriminate: To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language People

Accountability: The mother of caution.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Secret: What we tell everybody to tell nobody.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions