Author: Ambrose Bierce Page 4

Reporter: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations People Truth

Fiddle: An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Definitions Music

Woman: An animal… having rudimentary susceptibility to domestication… The species is the most widely distributed of all beast of prey… The woman is omnivorous and can be taught not to talk.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Men People

There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don't know.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Situations Things Time

Elector: One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Language

Outdo: To make an enemy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Dentist: A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Emotions Language Love

History: An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions History Time

Accountability: The mother of caution.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Intimacy: A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Fools

Delegation: In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language

Mausoleum: The final and funniest folly of the rich.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Money Wealth

Reconsider: To seek a justification for a decision already made.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Success

Monument: A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Passport: A document treacherously inflicted upon a citizen going abroad, exposing him as an alien and pointing him out for special reprobation and outrage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Definitions Individuals Things Travel

Ignoramus: A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Resolute: Obstinate in a course that we approve.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Sweater: Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Appearance Clothing Definitions

Teetotaler: One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions Wordplay