Author: Ambrose Bierce Page 4

Mouth: In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Rum: Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions

Patience: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Reporter: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations People Truth

Dawn: 1. The time when men of reason go to bed. 2. When the sun first shines on your hangover.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Time

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Emotions Language Love

Dependent: Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Emotions Happiness Women

Passport: A document treacherously inflicted upon a citizen going abroad, exposing him as an alien and pointing him out for special reprobation and outrage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Definitions Individuals Things Travel

Genealogy: An account of one’s descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Family Past

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Senate: A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Congress Definitions Government

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Success

Egotist: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Self

Un-American: Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
America Characteristics Definitions Places

Delegation: In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language

The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forbearance among men.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Children Family

Rumor: A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Circus: A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Communication Definitions Fools Language People