Author: Arthur ‘Bugs’ Baer

Allen S. Sothoron pitched his initials off yesterday.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball Sports

It arrived by first-class mail in second-class condition.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Situations

The champion, Jess Willard, had about as much chance in this fight as a dish-faced chimpanzee in a beauty contest.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Boxing Sports

Although it is a far cry from there to here, he laughed all the way.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Emotions Laughter Situations

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Government Law

She was a brunette by birth, but a blonde by habit.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Appearance Characteristics

He was so ugly, the last time I saw him he was the top of a totem pole in Seattle.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Appearance Insults

She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Food/Drink

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Health Reading/Writing

Lefty Grove could throw a lamb chop past a wolf.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball Sports

It is impossible to tell where the law stops and justice begins.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Government Law

Liquor – you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Law

He doesn't remember any silent days in motion pictures – the director always yelled.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Entertainment Film Speech

She's generous to a fault… if it's her own.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics Communication

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
People

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Situations Sleep Work

The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics Situations

If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they only print your thumbs.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Crime

It was so quiet, you could hear a pun drop.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Language

It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Situations

He writes dialogues by cutting monologues in two.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism