Author: Arthur ‘Bugs’ Baer Page 2

If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they only print your thumbs.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Crime

It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Situations

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Situations Sleep Work

He was so ugly, the last time I saw him he was the top of a totem pole in Seattle.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Appearance Insults

How much would you charge to haunt a house?

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Appearance Communication

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Government Law

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Health Reading/Writing

The champion, Jess Willard, had about as much chance in this fight as a dish-faced chimpanzee in a beauty contest.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Boxing Sports