Author: Aziz Ansari

[Chickenpox] is the only disease that says,‘You know what, we did our thing once and now I’m out of here forever, peace.’

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Health

White babies are disgusting… they’re like regular babies that aren’t ripe yet.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Family People

The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you’re gay.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Activities

I can’t keep referring to basketball players as Khloe Kardashian’s husband and his friends.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Basketball Sports

Your favorite kind of cake can’t be birthday cake, that’s like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink

Something very sad about the fact that I haven’t read Moby Dick, but I have read the Kindergarten Cop Wikipedia page.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Communication Education Reading/Writing