Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Bennett Cerf
Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
Bennett Cerf
(1898 – 1971) American humorist
Intelligence
Stupidity
The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night… Brahms lost.
Bennett Cerf
(1898 – 1971) American humorist
Music
Reviews/Criticism
Brahms
Banquet: A plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially colored green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
Bennett Cerf
(1898 – 1971) American humorist
Food/Drink
Banquet
Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.
Bennett Cerf
(1898 – 1971) American humorist
Characteristics
Manners
A pat on the back, though only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, is miles ahead in results.
Bennett Cerf
(1898 – 1971) American humorist
Characteristics
Situations
Encouragement
Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.
Bennett Cerf
(1898 – 1971) American humorist
Age
Appearance
Middle age