Author: Bill Watterson

The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Emotions Happiness

In my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
People

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication Conversation Speech

One of my baby teeth came out! I have to say, I’m not entirely comfortable holding a piece of my own head.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Health

I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication Intelligence Life Places Science/Weather

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Fools Intelligence People

Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication Speech

It’s a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it’s light out.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Time

That’s one of the remarkable things about life… it’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Life Problems

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won’t help.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Clothing Life Miscellaneous

It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Beliefs People Religion

Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Life

The way Calvin’s brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Intelligence Mind

It’s a lot more fun to blame things than to fix them.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Situations

Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Beliefs Girls Situations

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Intelligence

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Age Children Family Past Young

I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Characteristics Life World

It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Beliefs People Religion

I don’t know which is worse… that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Miscellaneous