Author: Bill Watterson

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

The way Calvin’s brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

The worst part is that I don’t even have the fun of doing the things I’m getting blamed for.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

One of my baby teeth came out! I have to say, I’m not entirely comfortable holding a piece of my own head.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

I’m related to people I don’t relate to.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

Reality continues to ruin my life.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

It’s a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it’s light out.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

In my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

They say winning isn’t everything, and I’ve decided to take their word for it.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

I don’t know which is worse… that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)