Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Bo Burnham
Ya back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid… well that and ‘faggot.'
Bo Burnham
American comedian
People
Self
If Jesus can walk on water can he swim on land?
Bo Burnham
American comedian
People
Jesus
My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish; she used to like to dress up as herself and then act like a bitch all the time.
Bo Burnham
American comedian
Girlfriends
People
Where are all the Sour Patch parents?
Bo Burnham
American comedian
Miscellaneous
If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
Bo Burnham
American comedian
Situations
Homeless
I’m constipated, couldn’t give a shit.
Bo Burnham
American comedian
Health
Constipation
When life gets you down, make a comforter.
Bo Burnham
American comedian
Communication
Wordplay
Down