Author: Bob Hope

Kids are wonderful… I like mine barbecued.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Children Family

Harry had won by such a narrow margin he might not have made it if Bess hadn't voted for her husband.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government

I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment Self

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Appearance Body Dance People

My parents were English; we were too poor to be British.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
England Places

Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover.'

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment Self

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Entertainment Film Opinion

Ronnie's hero is Calvin Coolidge and Nancy's is Calvin Klein.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
People

Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Golf Sports

I was happy when I fist heard Ronald Reagan was running for the presidency; I’ve always thought, once you’re in show business you should stay in it.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment

A triumph for democracy; it proves that a millionaire has just as good a chance as anybody else.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government Money

Oscar night at my house is called Passover.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Communication Wordplay

I thought Deep Throat was a movie about a giraffe.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment Film

I like to play in the low 70′s… if it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Old

I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Life Religion

I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Activities Age Golf Old Sports Time

I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw  at me.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment Food/Drink

I went to Moscow once; it was so cold at night one guy fell out of bed and broke his pajamas.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Cold Places Science/Weather

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Alcohol Emotions Food/Drink