Author: Bob Hope Page 3

If you watch a game, it’s fun; if you play it, it’s recreation; if you work at it, it’s golf.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

My parents were English; we were too poor to be British.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
England Places

That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Old

He rules the country with an iron fist – the same way he plays the piano.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government People

I was happy when I fist heard Ronald Reagan was running for the presidency; I’ve always thought, once you’re in show business you should stay in it.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment

I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw  at me.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment Food/Drink

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Communication Entertainment Music

Surprise me.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Last words

I need money… I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Wealth

The Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem; they're all running for the presidency.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government President

Bing (Crosby) doesn't pay income tax; he just calls the government and says, 'How much do you boys need?'

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Taxes Wealth

I ruined my hands in the ring… the referee kept stepping on them.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Football Sports

If they liked you, they didn’t applaud – they just let you live.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Marriage

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal; he's always had an agent do that.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty People Politics

Don't let her fool you; tangle with her and she`ll shingle your attic.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that’s why we have two parties.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Politics

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
God Golf Sports

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports