Author: Bob Hope Page 4

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that’s why we have two parties.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Politics

He plays just like a union man… he negotiates the final score.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

Phyllis Diller’s had so many facelifts, there’s nothing left in her shoes.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Appearance Body

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old

I don't know what people have against Jimmy Carter… he's done nothing.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
People

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal; he's always had an agent do that.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty People Politics

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment Film

It’s hard to play a guy who rattles his medals while you’re putting.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Fat Golf Sports

He was so crooked that when he died they had to screw him into the ground.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Insults

You can always tell when a man’s well-informed… his views are pretty much like yours.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Intelligence

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Golf Sports

Golf is my real profession – show business pays my greens fees.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Acting Entertainment Golf Sports

It gave dirty politics a bad name.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Politics

Oscar night at my house is called Passover.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Communication Wordplay

A triumph for democracy; it proves that a millionaire has just as good a chance as anybody else.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government Money

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Entertainment Film Opinion

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

My parents were English; we were too poor to be British.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
England Places

I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment Self