Author: Caroline Rhea

I’m even in denial about the fact that I’m in therapy; I’ve just convinced myself there’s a friend that I see once a week, and then I lend her $90, and she never pays me back.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Health Situations

He's like, 'Caroline, you've got a cavity,' and I'm like, 'I know – and I'd like you to fill it.'

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Emotions Sex

I don’t understand Viagra… I mean I like pie but I don’t want to eat it for 41⁄2 hours.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Food/Drink Sex

I have the biggest crush on my dentist; I’ve been doing everything to see him; I gargle with Coke.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Emotions Health

I constantly walk into a room and I don’t remember why.; but for some reason, I think there’s going to be a clue in the fridge.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Intelligence Memory

You sit there and you talk about yourself for an hour straight, and the other person listens to everything you say; it's like I'm the guy on a date.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
People Self

I love New York – it's the only place where if you look at anyone long enough, they'll eventually spit.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
New York City People Places

I'm so sick of these men who just talk about themselves… I'm looking for a well-hung mime.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Body Men Speech