Author: Charles Barkley

Stevie Wonder could make one of 23 shots.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I'm just what America needs – another unemployed black man.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating; I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I'd never buy my girl a watch… she's already got a clock over the stove.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

When I was recruited at Auburn, they took me to a strip joint; when I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I don't hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

We are in the business of kicking butt and business is very, very good.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques; I've got a technique… it's called just go get the damn ball.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I think that the team that wins game five will win the series… unless we lose game five.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It's a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly; if they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick… same thing.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I miss America. I miss crime and murder. I miss Philadelphia. There hasn't been a brutal stabbing or anything here the last 24 hours. I've missed it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

We don’t need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Interviewer: Did you graduate from Auburn?
Charles: No, but I have a couple people working for me who did.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Yeah, I regret we weren't on a higher floor.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I'd never buy my girl a watch… she's already got a clock over the stove.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Beasley was 6’10” in college and 6’7” when he entered the NBA.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I think that the team that wins game five will win the series… unless we lose game five.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality