Author: Charles Barkley

I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques; I've got a technique… it's called just go get the damn ball.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Beasley was 6’10” in college and 6’7” when he entered the NBA.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

When I was recruited at Auburn, they took me to a strip joint; when I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly; if they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick… same thing.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I'd never buy my girl a watch… she's already got a clock over the stove.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I don't hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I'm just what America needs – another unemployed black man.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I think that the team that wins game five will win the series… unless we lose game five.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

We don’t need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Stevie Wonder could make one of 23 shots.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly; if they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick… same thing.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

We are in the business of kicking butt and business is very, very good.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I'd never buy my girl a watch… she's already got a clock over the stove.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Hey Stanley, you could be a great player if you learned just two words: I'm full.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

If it's your brain, you'll be fine. That's the smallest organ in your body.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I miss America. I miss crime and murder. I miss Philadelphia. There hasn't been a brutal stabbing or anything here the last 24 hours. I've missed it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality