Author: Charles Barkley

Yeah, I regret we weren't on a higher floor.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating; I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Yeah… it’s called defense, I mean I wouldn't know anything about it personally but I've heard about it through the grapevine.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Dennis has become like a prostitute, but now it's gotten ridiculous, to the point where he will do anything humanly possible to make money.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Cleveland is trying to win the championship and Detroit has one foot in Cancun.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I think that the team that wins game five will win the series… unless we lose game five.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Stevie Wonder could make one of 23 shots.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly; if they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick… same thing.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I don't hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

We don’t need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I miss America. I miss crime and murder. I miss Philadelphia. There hasn't been a brutal stabbing or anything here the last 24 hours. I've missed it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I'm just what America needs – another unemployed black man.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It's a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Beasley was 6’10” in college and 6’7” when he entered the NBA.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

We are in the business of kicking butt and business is very, very good.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

When I was recruited at Auburn, they took me to a strip joint; when I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

If it's your brain, you'll be fine. That's the smallest organ in your body.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Stevie Wonder could make one of 23 shots.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality