Author: Charley Weaver Page 2

Peter Marshall: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… some African Watusi tribesmen greet guests by running toward them at full speed, then high-jumping over them.

Charley Weaver: This is sometimes terribly embarrassing to tall guests. 

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Charles, how many balls would you expect to find on a billiard table?

Charley Weaver: How many guys are playing?

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Tommy Smothers and President George Washington share a common outstanding physical trait that's very noticeable and unique.  What is it?

Charley Weaver: They both have wooden teeth.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Charley, how many balls are on a pool table in a standard game of 8-ball?

Charlie Weaver: How many men are on the table?

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Arthur Hailey had a very successful movie and novel called Hotel. He has a new best seller about another stopover point. What is it called?

Charlie Weaver: Service Station.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  When you go shopping, is there any difference between irregulars and seconds?

Charley Weaver:  Out at the home, when I have seconds I get irregular.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  True or false – drinking can make you hard of hearing.

Charley Weaver:  What?

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?

Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I’m too busy growing strawberries!

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  Every night before he went to bed, George Washington would always put his false teeth into something. What?

Charley Weaver: Martha!

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to an executive report of the Dallas Morning News, is a person ever too old to get his teeth straightened?

Charley Weaver: Well now, that would be my second choice.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In the literary world, who kept saying 'I think I can, I think I can?’

Charley Weaver: Well, out at the home, that was Mr. Ferguson. And Mrs. Ferguson kept saying “I wish he would! I wish he would!”

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

Charley Weaver: His feet.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  In a recent TV Guide interview, Paul Lynde said that he has been cursed with something all his life.  What?

Charley Weaver: Four letter words! 

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Billy Graham, can you get anything you’ve always wanted in Heaven, if you didn’t get it on Earth?

Charley Weaver: Yes, but there’s an extra charge for the whitewalls.  

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to FEMA, people from Florida should be prepared for hurricanes and people from the Midwest should be prepared for floods. What should people from California be prepared for?

Charley Weaver: The people from Florida and the people from the Midwest.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What famous story begins with the discovery of magic beans?

Charley Weaver: Inherit the Wind.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  Shakespeare wrote 154 of them.  What are they?

Charley Weaver:  Checks to Rose Marie for services rendered.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  You are a senior citizen and during the night while you are asleep, your heart beats 50 times per minute.  Is there something wrong with you?

Charley Weaver:  Well, let's put it this way.  Could you ask me Friday's questions today?

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Which is higher, a vice admiral or a rear admiral?

Charley Weaver: That depends on who drinks the most.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares