Author Chelsea Handler | Just-One-Liners.com

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Author: Chelsea Handler

Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.

Chelsea Handler

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author

Dating Relationships Sex

The last time a straight man worked in the fashion industry, we got a fanny pack.

Chelsea Handler

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author

Appearance Clothing People Fashion Gays

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

Chelsea Handler

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author

Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea

Chelsea Handler

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.

Chelsea Handler

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author

Family Relationships

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around, and I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

Chelsea Handler

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author

Alcohol Dating Food/Drink Relationships

Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda; it’s the first time an entire Third-World-country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.

Chelsea Handler

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author

Insults Paris Hilton