Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Christina Applegate
Once the Earth goes, the planet is going to be next!
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
You're like the pessimist, who looks at his pants and thinks they're half empty. You should be more like the
optometrist,
who looks through his glasses and thinks they're half full.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Optimist
Quoth the raven,
Demi Moore.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Nevermore
The defense
breasts.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Rests
As a great Eastern religion says, it's all about striking a balance between the
ping and the pong.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Yin and yang
I thought that "Roman candles" just meant that they were imported. You know, from Romany.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Roman candles
According to team rules, the vote has to be unanimous. It can be unanimous
or
out loud.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
Anonymous
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Ever since Renee, models from Iman to Cheryl Tiegs have only had one name!
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Dig a hole in the ground and throw away the key.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Mixed metaphors
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Of course the Soviet Union was bound to fall! It's on the edge of the map!
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
It's so hot, you can lay an egg on the sidewalk.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Heat
Science/Weather
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Kelly: Topeka! I have found it!
Peggy: I don’t think you mean “Topeka.”
Kelly: Oh yeah.
Urethra!
I have found it!
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Eureka
The mind
wobbles.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Boggles
Feed a cold, starve for
pizza.
Starve a pizza, eat cold feet.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Fever
Those who can, do; those who can't, do not.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
I must run like the stocking.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Enough, if I wanted intelligent conversation, I’d still be dating my teachers.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
The
prostitution
rests.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Prosecution
Remember, attraction is a three-way street. Or is it a one-way tunnel?
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
Is a bear Catholic?
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Mixed metaphors
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
That is the
squaw that stroke the camel’s sack.
Christina Applegate
(1971 – ) American actress
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children”
The straw that broke the camel's back
Page 1 of 3
1
2
3
Next »