Author: Dean Martin

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Alcohol

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Communication Speech

Don Rickles is the funniest man in show business… but don't go by me; I'm drunk.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Insults

I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

I’ve got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello, goodbye, and I’m pregnant.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Children Communication Family Speech

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink People