Author: Dorothy Parker

The transatlantic crossing was so rough the only thing that I could keep on my stomach was the first mate.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Sex Travel

There has been but one sweet, misty interlude in my [insomnia]; that was the evening I fell into a dead dreamless slumber brought on by the reading of a book called Appendicitis.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

Crude is the name of Robert Hyde’s first novel; it is also a criticism of it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Books Communication Reviews/Criticism

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly; it should be thrown with great force.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Acting Reviews/Criticism

I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics Money Wealth

The two most beautiful words in the English language are “check enclosed.”

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Language

The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Hollywood Places

Do me a favor; when you get home, throw your mother a bone.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Family Mothers Situations

All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Friends People Sex

Good work, Mary: We all knew you had it in you.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Situations

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Girls People School Sex

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing Truth

The play holds the season’s record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinée… by an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

Tell him I’ve been too f**king busy – or vice versa.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Sex Situations Time

Four be the things I’d been better without;

love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Things

If you don't knit bring a good book.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

Theodore Dreiser should ought to write nicer.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism Wordplay

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics

He (Robert Benchley) and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Places

Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Places