Author: Dorothy Parker

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Intelligence Language People Thinking Women

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics

I wish you could have heard that pretty crash Beauty and the Beast made when, with one sweeping, liquid gesture, I tossed it out of my twelfth-story window.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

This is on me.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death

It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Relationships

The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Hollywood Places

Outspoken? By whom?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Speech

I went to convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Situations

Excuse my dust.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Epitaphs Self

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Places

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible, this was terrible with raisins in it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Age

Theodore Dreiser should ought to write nicer.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism Wordplay

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Appearance Clothing

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing Truth

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Acting Reviews/Criticism

Because he spills his seed on the ground.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Animals

I went into the Plymouth Theater a comparatively young woman, and I staggered out of it three hours later, twenty years older, haggard and broken with suffering.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

How could they tell?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Insults

Good work, Mary: We all knew you had it in you.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Situations

Do me a favor; when you get home, throw your mother a bone.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Family Mothers Situations

An admiring drunk to Parker: I simply can’t bear fools.
Parker: Apparently, your mother did not have the same difficulty.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Fools Intelligence