Author: Dorothy Parker

An admiring drunk to Parker: I simply can’t bear fools.
Parker: Apparently, your mother did not have the same difficulty.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Fools Intelligence

Hangover: The wrath of grapes.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant – and let the air out of the tires.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Children Family Places

The cure for boredom is curiosity; there is no cure for curiosity.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics Intelligence

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Girls People School Sex

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Intelligence Language People Thinking Women

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics Communication

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly; it should be thrown with great force.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

The two most beautiful words in the English language are “check enclosed.”

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Language

The only thing I didn’t like about The Barretts of Wimpole Street was the play.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

Tell him I’ve been too f**king busy – or vice versa.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Sex Situations Time

Crude is the name of Robert Hyde’s first novel; it is also a criticism of it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Books Communication Reviews/Criticism

How could they tell?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Insults

She looks like something that would eat its young.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Appearance Insults

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Acting Reviews/Criticism

Good work, Mary: We all knew you had it in you.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Situations

Where does she find them?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Insults

Money cannot buy health, but I'll settle for a diamond studded wheelchair.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Health Money

All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Friends People Sex

The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Hollywood Places

“House Beautiful” is the play lousy.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism