Author: Dorothy Parker Page 2

I went to convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Situations

He has a heart of gold… only harder.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Miscellaneous

“House Beautiful” is the play lousy.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics

Money cannot buy health, but I'll settle for a diamond studded wheelchair.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Health Money

The only thing I didn’t like about The Barretts of Wimpole Street was the play.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Friends People Sex

He’s a writer for the ages… for the ages of four to eight.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

The play holds the season’s record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinée… by an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

Because he spills his seed on the ground.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Animals

I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics Money Wealth

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics Communication

If you don't knit bring a good book.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Places

There has been but one sweet, misty interlude in my [insomnia]; that was the evening I fell into a dead dreamless slumber brought on by the reading of a book called Appendicitis.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible, this was terrible with raisins in it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Age

The transatlantic crossing was so rough the only thing that I could keep on my stomach was the first mate.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Sex Travel

An admiring drunk to Parker: I simply can’t bear fools.
Parker: Apparently, your mother did not have the same difficulty.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Fools Intelligence

This book of essays… has all the depth and glitter of a worn dime.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Books Reviews/Criticism

Theodore Dreiser should ought to write nicer.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism Wordplay

Four be the things I’d been better without;

love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Things