Author: Dorothy Parker Page 2

The transatlantic crossing was so rough the only thing that I could keep on my stomach was the first mate.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Sex Travel

Tell him I’ve been too f**king busy – or vice versa.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Sex Situations Time

It is true that I paid it the tribute of tears, but that says nothing, for I am one who weeps at Victorian costumes.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly; it should be thrown with great force.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant – and let the air out of the tires.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Children Family Places

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Intelligence Language People Thinking Women

I went to convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Situations

All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Friends People Sex

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Acting Reviews/Criticism

Four be the things I’d been better without;

love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Things

He’s a writer for the ages… for the ages of four to eight.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics Money Wealth

One more drink and I'd be under the host.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink

The two most beautiful words in the English language are “check enclosed.”

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Language

If you don't knit bring a good book.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

Money cannot buy health, but I'll settle for a diamond studded wheelchair.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Health Money

There has been but one sweet, misty interlude in my [insomnia]; that was the evening I fell into a dead dreamless slumber brought on by the reading of a book called Appendicitis.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

Where does she find them?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Insults

This book of essays… has all the depth and glitter of a worn dime.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Books Reviews/Criticism

Do me a favor; when you get home, throw your mother a bone.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Family Mothers Situations

He (Robert Benchley) and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Places