Author: Elbert Hubbard
A conservative is one who is opposed to the things he is in favor of.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
So far, I haven’t heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Miracle: An event described by those to whom it was told by men who did not see it.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Life is just one damned thing after another.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
When a feller says, ‘It hain’t the money, but the principle o’ th’ thing’, it’s the money.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Die: To stop sinning suddenly.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Polygamy: An endeavour to get more out of life than there is in it.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Righteous indignation: Your own wrath as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
The poor and ignorant will continue to lie and steal as long as the rich and educated show them how.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
To stop sinning suddenly.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Heaven: The Coney Island of the Christian imagination.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Man is Creation’s masterpiece; but who says so?
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
If you can't answer a man's arguments, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher