Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Finley Peter Dunne
A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
Finley Peter Dunne
(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Beliefs
God
Fanatics
The past always looks better than it was because it isn't here.
Finley Peter Dunne
(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Past
Time
When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.
Finley Peter Dunne
(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
America
Communication
Language
Places
English
The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
Finley Peter Dunne
(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Husbands
Marriage
Bachelors
An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.
Finley Peter Dunne
(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Government
Law
Appeals
Court
Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.
Finley Peter Dunne
(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Communication
Language
Swearing
Trust everybody – but cut the cards.
Finley Peter Dunne
(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Characteristics
Honesty
Cards
Trust
One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones who never have it.
Finley Peter Dunne
(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Life
Money
People
Poor
Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
Finley Peter Dunne
(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Activities
Characteristics
Games
Cards
Trust