Author: Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Emotions Entertainment God

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Characteristics Intelligence Situations

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Animals Cats

Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Men People

Intelligence is like four-wheel drive; it only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Intelligence

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Death