Author: George Bernard Shaw Page 2

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Intelligence

A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication Entertainment Wordplay

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
People Situations Time

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Death Emotions Happiness Laughter Life

The faults of the burglar are qualities of the financier.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Occupations Work

Never fret for an only son, the idea of failure will never occur to him.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Failure Problems Success

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig; you get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Animals Situations

Lack of money is the root of all evil.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Money Poverty

There are two tragedies in life; one is not to get your heart’s desire, the other is to get it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Life Situations

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication Conversation Insults Speech

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Doctors Health

Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Government

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Music People

Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Intelligence Success

The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Dance Entertainment Music Sex

Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication

My mother married a very good man… and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Marriage

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Conflict People War

I am the most spontaneous speaker in the world because every word, every gesture, and every retort has been carefully rehearsed.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication Speech

Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Marriage