Author: George Bernard Shaw Page 3

Mendoza: I am a brigand: I live by robbing the rich.

Tanner: I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Money People

England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Communication England Language Places

Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Self

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Dance Family Past Relationships Situations Things Time

There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Death

Alfred Hitchcock: One look at you and I know there's famine in the land.

Shaw’s reply: One look at you, Mr. Hitchcock, and I know who caused it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Appearance Body Fat Insults

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Intelligence

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication Conversation Insults Speech

Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Eating Food/Drink

There would never be any public agreement among doctors if they did not agree to agree on the main point of the doctor being always on the right.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Doctors Health Occupations Work

The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Dance Entertainment Music Sex

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig; you get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Animals Situations

Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Government

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Music People

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America People Places

Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Government Law Lawyers

The 100% American is 99% idiot.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Insults People

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Conflict People War

The brain is entirely fat… without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Intelligence

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Marriage