Author: George Gobel

Peter Marshall: True or false… there is a magazine called The Corsets & Underwear Revue?

George Gobel: I was reading that before Playboy came out.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Is it possible for a man to get an annulment if he can prove that he was drunk during the wedding ceremony? 

George Gobel: Well, I thought of that, but by the time I sobered up, we had been married 23 years.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to legend, what one thing was Noah’s wife not willing to do?

George Gobel: Sunbathe amongst the anteaters.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  According to Shakespeare, what acquaints a man with strange bedfellows?

George Gobel:  The tall dude in the purple hat. 

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to The People’s Handbook Of Medical Care, it’s the single-most important factor in letting you know that something is wrong with you. What is it?

George Gobel: It’s when people pass you on the street, and go “YECCH!”

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

I'm the kind of guy who will have nothing all my life and then they'll discover oil while they're digging my grave.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Death Life Money Wealth

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Education Marriage School

Peter Marshall: True or false… drinking alcohol reduces the amount of male hormones in your body? 

George Gobel: You can’t scare me!

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman were to have a baby, would it be a bionic baby?

George Gobel: Yes, but it would require three doctors, a ground crew and a disposable net.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to beauty experts at Seventeen magazine, what is the major cause of crows feet?

George Gobel: God made them so crows could dance.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What do you call a cow that won’t give milk? 

George Gobel: Hamburger

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to The People’s Almanac, what do they call it when one person is engaged in kissing, fondling, and caressing with another person?

George Gobel: In show  business, we call it an interview.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Dear Abby, it’s nature’s signal that something is wrong. What is it?

George Gobel: When your son starts waxing his legs.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The Pittsburgh Press calls it a combination of the Jitterbug, the Cha-cha, and the Mambo. What do you call it?

George Gobel: A short in my electric blanket.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What did Anita Bryant do for her talent competition in the Miss America contest?

George Gobel: Punch the hairdresser.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting “Poo! Poo! Poo!” What does that mean?

George Gobel: Cattle crossing.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Where I play, the greens always break toward the bar.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

Peter Marshall: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can breathing in and out of a paper bag help stop anything?

George Gobel: If it’s filled with wine it can stop me from shaking.  

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What are “Do It”, “I Can Help” and “Can’t Get Enough”?

George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… the Pope believes the Vatican might be bugged?

George Gobel: And he also believes that 18 minutes of the new testament are missing.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares