Author: George Gobel Page 3

Peter Marshall: True or false… drinking alcohol reduces the amount of male hormones in your body? 

George Gobel: You can’t scare me!

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the Reverend Billy Graham, what sin have you committed if you drink too much?

George Gobel:  Gluttony.  The neighbors say I ate their cat. 

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

Peter Marshall:  According to Shakespeare, what acquaints a man with strange bedfellows?

George Gobel:  The tall dude in the purple hat. 

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… a Florida man was recently fined 75 cents to pay for the bullet police fired at him? 

George Gobel: Yeah, and they didn’t have change for a dollar, so they shot him two more times.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What do you call a cow that won’t give milk? 

George Gobel: Hamburger

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can breathing in and out of a paper bag help stop anything?

George Gobel: If it’s filled with wine it can stop me from shaking.  

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… George, experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant.

George Gobel: Yes, and I think I voted for six of ‘em.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  George, does Elizabeth Taylor smoke?

George Gobel:  She has one cigarette after every meal, which amounts to… two packs a day.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What are “Do It”, “I Can Help” and “Can’t Get Enough”?

George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Education Marriage School

Peter Marshall: According to the celebrated Masters & Johnson, there are about four or five thousand places offering sex therapy in America today. Now do they feel that most of them are doing a really good job?

George Gobel: Well, not the ones where you don't have to leave your car.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Dear Abby, it’s nature’s signal that something is wrong. What is it?

George Gobel: When your son starts waxing his legs.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman were to have a baby, would it be a bionic baby?

George Gobel: Yes, but it would require three doctors, a ground crew and a disposable net.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  Is it possible to housebreak an elephant?

George Gobel:  Yes, but don’t try it during a newspaper strike.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares