Author: George Gobel Page 3

Peter Marshall: According to Dear Abby, it’s nature’s signal that something is wrong. What is it?

George Gobel: When your son starts waxing his legs.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Father Lester's column, is there ever, EVER a time when it is permissible to punch somebody in the mouth?

George Gobel: Well, yeah. Like if he backs into the church's new Chevy wagon.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You have some lipstick on your collar. Will treating it with petroleum jelly help?

George Gobel: I'm gonna have a hard enough time explaining the lipstick!

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Traditionally, on Ground Hog Day, what is the ground hog looking for when he comes out of his hole?

George Gobel: Well, anything except a speeding lawn mower.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to The Cosmo Girl’s Book Of Ettiquette, what does Helen Gurley Brown say you should put in your bra to attract men?

George Gobel: A copy of Sports Illustrated.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman were to have a baby, would it be a bionic baby?

George Gobel: Yes, but it would require three doctors, a ground crew and a disposable net.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… massaging the feet helps some people with hot flashes?

George Gobel: So that’s why Rose Marie wears battery-operated shoes.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can breathing in and out of a paper bag help stop anything?

George Gobel: If it’s filled with wine it can stop me from shaking.  

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What is the most popular place in America that people want to visit?

George Gobel:  It’s right down the hall, to the right and has a sign on the door.  

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What did Anita Bryant do for her talent competition in the Miss America contest?

George Gobel: Punch the hairdresser.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the celebrated Masters & Johnson, there are about four or five thousand places offering sex therapy in America today. Now do they feel that most of them are doing a really good job?

George Gobel: Well, not the ones where you don't have to leave your car.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: One Frenchman in seven makes his living making something. Making what?

George Gobel: Making love to the lady tourists.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the Reverend Billy Graham, what sin have you committed if you drink too much?

George Gobel:  Gluttony.  The neighbors say I ate their cat. 

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  George, does Elizabeth Taylor smoke?

George Gobel:  She has one cigarette after every meal, which amounts to… two packs a day.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… a Florida man was recently fined 75 cents to pay for the bullet police fired at him? 

George Gobel: Yeah, and they didn’t have change for a dollar, so they shot him two more times.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Education Marriage School