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Author: George Gobel Page 3
Peter Marshall: According to the celebrated Masters & Johnson, there are about four or five thousand places offering sex therapy in America today. Now do they feel that most of them are doing a really good job?George Gobel: Well, not the ones where you don't have to leave your car.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Is it possible to housebreak an elephant? George Gobel: Yes, but don’t try it during a newspaper strike.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… there is a Catholic parish in Las Vegas that holds services in a topless discotheque?George Gobel: Yes, and there's a sign that says "Do not tip or touch the choir."
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.George Gobel: Sometimes it sure seems that way…
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to Father Lester's column, is there ever, EVER a time when it is permissible to punch somebody in the mouth?George Gobel: Well, yeah. Like if he backs into the church's new Chevy wagon.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Where I play, the greens always break toward the bar.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Golf
Sports
Golf courses
Peter Marshall: According to
The People’s Almanac,
what do they call it when one person is engaged in kissing, fondling, and caressing with another person?George Gobel: In show business, we call it an interview.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to weather statistics, where is the wettest spot on Earth?George Gobel: The parking lot at Busch Gardens.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… George, experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant.George Gobel: Yes, and I think I voted for six of ‘em.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: George, does Elizabeth Taylor smoke?George Gobel: She has one cigarette after every meal, which amounts to… two packs a day.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: What was Rudyard Kipling describing when he wrote about a “rag-a-bone” and a “hank-a-hair?”George Gobel: His unsuccessful attempt to shoot his wife out of a cannon.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Alcohol
Food/Drink
Peter Marshall: When are you considered an old man in Japan?George Gobel: When you have to get your doctor’s permission to bow.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… there is a magazine called
The Corsets & Underwear Revue?
George Gobel: I was reading that before
Playboy
came out.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Can breathing in and out of a paper bag help stop anything? George Gobel: If it’s filled with wine it can stop me from shaking.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to an old song, you should “Wrap all your troubles in…” What? George Gobel: Furs… and tell her to stop calling your house!
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
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