Author: Norm Page 3

Coach: What’s the story, Norm?

Norm: A thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?

Norm: The question is, “What’s going in Mr. Peterson?” A beer please, Woody.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Cliff: I have impossibly high standards for a woman.

Norm: Yeah, she has to like you.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it’s really no fun lying to them anymore.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Hey I’m high on life, Coach… of course, beer is my life.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

It’s a dog-eat-dog world, Sammy, and I’m wearing Milk-Bone underwear.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Sam: What’s going down, Normie?

Norm: My butt cheeks on that bar stool.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?

Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Sam: What’d you like Normie?

Norm: A reason to live. Give me another beer.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

How’s a beer sound, Norm?

I dunno, I usually finish them before they get a word in.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Coach: Would you like a beer, Norm?

Norm: I’d like to see something in a size 54 sudzy.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Sam: Beer, Norm?

Norm: Have I gotten that predictable? Good.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Sam: What’s shaking Norm?

Norm: All four cheeks & a couple of chins.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Coach: What will it be, Normie?

Norm: A transfusion with a head on it.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

I not only get recognized – I get recognized from behind.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Sam: What’s the story Norm?

Norm: Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Coach: What’s your most troublesome problem, Norm?

Norm: Well that’s tough to say, Coach. Let’s see I’m overweight, unemployed, separated, depressed, starting to drink too much. My problem is I’ve never been happier.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

What would you say to a beer, Normie?

Daddy wuvs you.”

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Next to Sammy’s life, my life has always appeared dull. Then again, next to a barnacle’s life, my life has always appeared dull.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor