Author: Greg Proops

Talking to the British about sex is like talking to Americans about reading; nobody does it so why talk about it?

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
England People Places Sex

Canada is an entire country named Doug.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Canada Places

You leave white people alone in constant isolation for thousands of years, you know what their musical contribution is going to be?… Riverdance.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Entertainment Music People

If you have a funny costume, you can’t really wear it when you get older.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Age Appearance Clothing

You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Activities

White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never, and two, if you’re selling ice cream.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Appearance Clothing

Animals have two vital functions in today's society: to be delicious and to fit well.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Animals