Author: Groucho Marx Page 7

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. [He suddenly grabs her and pulls her down onto a couch]

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed, but we're going back again in a couple of weeks.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Someone who looks like Marilyn Monroe and talks like George S. Kaufman.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People Women

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Dating Relationships

Two thousand dollars for ice? I can get an Eskimo for two hundred dollars and make my own ice.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Animals Books Communication Dogs Intelligence Reading/Writing Relationships Situations

She got her good looks from her father, he’s a plastic surgeon.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Doctors Family Fathers Health

There were three things that Chico was always on – a phone, a horse, or a broad.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People

Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Humor is reason gone mad.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Emotions

Love goes out the door when money comes innuendo.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions Love Money

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Divorce Marriage

I know it’s often been said that money won’t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, it’s a lovely thing to have around the house.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions Happiness Money

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly like mine – we were both crazy about girls.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Dating Girls People Women

His tongue was an unguided missile.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Language

How would you like to feel the way she looks?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Insults

Married. I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove. But I can’t see the stove.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

Women should be obscene and not heard.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Language Speech Women

This bear was six foot seven in his stocking feet and had shoes on.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints… they’re upstairs in my socks.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes