Author: Groucho Marx Page 9

She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People

Go, and never darken my towels again.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Relationships

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them… well, I have others.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Beliefs

There's a man outside with a big black mustache; tell him I've got one.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

P.S. Did you ever notice that ‘Peter O'Toole’ is a double-phallic name?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People

Oh, why can’t we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean… flee to my lodge in the hills.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes

Sir, if my wife looked like that, I wouldn't need any help thinking of insults!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults

There were three things that Chico was always on – a phone, a horse, or a broad.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions Laughter People Self

Man does not control his own fate; the women in his life do that for him.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Men People Women