Author: Homer Simpson

Note to self: Stop. Doing. Anything.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Self TV/Movie Quotes

Kids, kids, I’m not going to die; that only happens to bad people.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Death TV/Movie Quotes

Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Drugs TV/Movie Quotes

You know, my kids think you’re the greatest. And thanks to your gloomy music, they’ve finally stopped dreaming of a future I can’t possibly provide.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes Work

American donuts… glazed, powdered and raspberry-filled; now how’s that for freedom of choice?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Good things don’t end in ‘eum,’ they end in ‘mania’…or ‘teria’.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication Language TV/Movie Quotes

God bless those pagans.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins and Eskimos.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

I’m not a bath man myself; more of a cologne man.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

How is education going to make me smarter?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Education TV/Movie Quotes

If God didn’t want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, every time I learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain. Remember that time I learned how to make wine and forgot how to drive?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Mind Self TV/Movie Quotes

You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you will never have… a dinosaur.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Money TV/Movie Quotes

Everything looks bad if you remember it.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Memory TV/Movie Quotes

Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Situations Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it’s that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, you know it’s rude to talk when my mouth is full.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

I want to be alone with my thought.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence Thinking

Roads are just a suggestion Marge, just like pants.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Things TV/Movie Quotes

I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers… I can get by with one.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes