Author: Homer Simpson Page 2

He's trying to hypnotize me, and it's not in that good Las Vegas kind of way.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Television TV/Movie Quotes

If the Bible has taught us anything – which it hasn't – it's that girls should stick to girl's sports like hot oil wrestling…

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Girls Sports TV/Movie Quotes

Porkchops and bacon, my two favorite animals.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

Just sit through this NRA meeting Marge, and if you still don't think guns are great then we'll argue some more.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don't even get paid for the stuff they do?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Facts are meaningless; you can use facts to prove anything that’s remotely true!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

Trying is just the first step toward failure.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Failure TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, I’m going to miss you so much; and it’s not just the sex; it’s also the food preparation.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

All right, brain, you don’t like me, and I don’t like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
People Self TV/Movie Quotes

American donuts… glazed, powdered and raspberry-filled; now how's that for freedom of choice?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Donuts… is there anything they can't do?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication Language Situations TV/Movie Quotes

Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

God bless those pagans.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Self TV/Movie Quotes

All these guys with six pack abs, and I'm the only one with a keg.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

Roads are just a suggestion Marge, just like pants.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Things TV/Movie Quotes

If I could say a few words… I would be a better public speaker.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication Speech TV/Movie Quotes

A woman is a lot like a refrigerator: 6 feet tall, 300 pounds… it makes ice.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes Women