Author Homer Simpson | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Homer Simpson Page 2

He's trying to hypnotize me, and it's not in that good Las Vegas kind of way.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Hypnotize

Porkchops and bacon, my two favorite animals.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Animals TV/Movie Quotes Bacon Pork

The problem in the world today is communication… too much communication.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Communication TV/Movie Quotes

We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget – we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, and the pudding cup.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Dolphins

All these guys with six pack abs, and I'm the only one with a keg.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes Abs

If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Television TV/Movie Quotes

You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you will never have… a dinosaur.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Money TV/Movie Quotes

I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Einstein

If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Fairs

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Miscellaneous TV/Movie Quotes

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Music TV/Movie Quotes The blues

God bless those pagans.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Pagans

I've got to get out of this rut and back in the groove.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Life TV/Movie Quotes Rut

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Conflict Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes War Appetite Destruction Sandwich

American donuts… glazed, powdered and raspberry-filled; now how's that for freedom of choice?

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Donuts

I'd love to go to church, Honey, but I've got a lot of work to do around the bed.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Church

My dreams have been shattered into shards of a broken dream.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Ambition Dreams

Marge, you can't keep blaming yourself; just blame yourself once, then move on.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Blame

It takes two to lie, Marge. One to lie and one to listen.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Lies TV/Movie Quotes

Trying is the first step towards failure.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Failure Problems Situations Trying

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

Categories

Additional Categories

Oops...

Some Popular Authors

Author: Homer Simpson Page 2

He's trying to hypnotize me, and it's not in that good Las Vegas kind of way.

Porkchops and bacon, my two favorite animals.

The problem in the world today is communication… too much communication.

We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget – we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, and the pudding cup.

All these guys with six pack abs, and I'm the only one with a keg.

If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you will never have… a dinosaur.

I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.

If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

God bless those pagans.

I've got to get out of this rut and back in the groove.

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

American donuts… glazed, powdered and raspberry-filled; now how's that for freedom of choice?

I'd love to go to church, Honey, but I've got a lot of work to do around the bed.

My dreams have been shattered into shards of a broken dream.

Marge, you can't keep blaming yourself; just blame yourself once, then move on.

It takes two to lie, Marge. One to lie and one to listen.

Trying is the first step towards failure.