Author Homer Simpson | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Homer Simpson Page 2

Marge, try to understand. There are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Prayer

Then we figured out we could just park them in front of the TV; that's how I was raised and I turned out TV.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Children Television TV/Movie Quotes

Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes

I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Miscellaneous Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Good things don’t end in ‘eum,’ they end in ‘mania’…or ‘teria’.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Communication Language TV/Movie Quotes

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Conflict Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes War Appetite Destruction Sandwich

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Understanding Apathy

Even communism works… in theory.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Communism

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Miscellaneous TV/Movie Quotes

God bless those pagans.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Pagans

I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Beliefs God TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, you can't keep blaming yourself; just blame yourself once, then move on.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Blame

Trying is just the first step toward failure.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Failure TV/Movie Quotes Trying

I wish God were alive to see this.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

God TV/Movie Quotes

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Entertainment Television TV/Movie Quotes

Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don't even get paid for the stuff they do?

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Volunteers

If God didn't want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Gluttony

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Work

Son, when a woman says nothing's wrong, it means everything's wrong; when a woman says everything's wrong, it means everything's wrong; and when a woman says that something isn't funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

People TV/Movie Quotes Women

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Advice

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Author: Homer Simpson Page 2

Marge, try to understand. There are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Then we figured out we could just park them in front of the TV; that's how I was raised and I turned out TV.

Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?

I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?

Good things don’t end in ‘eum,’ they end in ‘mania’…or ‘teria’.

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

Even communism works… in theory.

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

God bless those pagans.

I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.

Marge, you can't keep blaming yourself; just blame yourself once, then move on.

Trying is just the first step toward failure.

I wish God were alive to see this.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don't even get paid for the stuff they do?

If God didn't want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin.

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

Son, when a woman says nothing's wrong, it means everything's wrong; when a woman says everything's wrong, it means everything's wrong; and when a woman says that something isn't funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.