Author: Homer Simpson Page 2

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication England Language Places

Marge, every time I learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain. Remember that time I learned how to make wine and forgot how to drive?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Mind Self TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, try to understand. There are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Miscellaneous Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Aah beer, the cause of – and solution to – all life’s problems. 

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

American donuts… glazed, powdered and raspberry-filled; now how's that for freedom of choice?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication Language Situations TV/Movie Quotes

Vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins and Eskimos.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Give me liberty or… Ooooo… a jelly donut!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, you can't keep blaming yourself; just blame yourself once, then move on.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

I'm not a bath man myself; more of a cologne man.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

I like my beer cold… my TV loud… and my homosexuals flaming.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you will never have… a dinosaur.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Money TV/Movie Quotes

Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Situations Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Understanding

What’s the point of having children if you can’t buy their love?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Children Emotions Family Love TV/Movie Quotes

How is education going to make me smarter?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Education TV/Movie Quotes