Author Homer Simpson | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Homer Simpson Page 3

Marge, you can't keep blaming yourself; just blame yourself once, then move on.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Blame

I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Einstein

Everything looks bad if you remember it.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Memory TV/Movie Quotes

I like my beer cold… my TV loud… and my homosexuals flaming.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes

It’s so simple to be wise… just thing of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Wisdom

I'll make the money by selling one of my livers… I can get by with one.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

I’d be a vegetarian if bacon grew on trees.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes Bacon Vegetarian

Internet – they have that on computers now?

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Computers Internet

Trying is the first step towards failure.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Failure Problems Situations Trying

Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Children TV/Movie Quotes Internet

Son, when a woman says nothing's wrong, it means everything's wrong; when a woman says everything's wrong, it means everything's wrong; and when a woman says that something isn't funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

People TV/Movie Quotes Women

Marge, you know it's rude to talk when my mouth is full.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Manners

Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Drugs TV/Movie Quotes Fame

Aah beer, the cause of – and solution to – all life’s problems.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Even communism works… in theory.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Communism

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Advice

How is education going to make me smarter?

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Education TV/Movie Quotes

I never apologize… I’m sorry but that’s the way I am.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Self TV/Movie Quotes Apologize

Vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins and Eskimos.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Vampires

There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Self TV/Movie Quotes Emptiness

Note to self: Stop. Doing. Anything.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Self TV/Movie Quotes

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Author: Homer Simpson Page 3

Marge, you can't keep blaming yourself; just blame yourself once, then move on.

I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.

Everything looks bad if you remember it.

I like my beer cold… my TV loud… and my homosexuals flaming.

It’s so simple to be wise… just thing of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

I'll make the money by selling one of my livers… I can get by with one.

I’d be a vegetarian if bacon grew on trees.

Internet – they have that on computers now?

Trying is the first step towards failure.

Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.

Son, when a woman says nothing's wrong, it means everything's wrong; when a woman says everything's wrong, it means everything's wrong; and when a woman says that something isn't funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!

Marge, you know it's rude to talk when my mouth is full.

Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs.

Aah beer, the cause of – and solution to – all life’s problems.

Even communism works… in theory.

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

How is education going to make me smarter?

I never apologize… I’m sorry but that’s the way I am.

Vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins and Eskimos.

There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer.

Note to self: Stop. Doing. Anything.