Author: Homer Simpson Page 3

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Note to self: Stop. Doing. Anything.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Self TV/Movie Quotes

We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget – we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, and the pudding cup.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Beliefs God TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, I’m going to miss you so much; and it’s not just the sex; it’s also the food preparation.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, your cooking only has two moves: Shake and Bake.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Cooking TV/Movie Quotes

Kids, kids, I'm not going to die; that only happens to bad people.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Death TV/Movie Quotes

That horse had better win, or else we're taking a trip to the glue factory… and he won't get to come.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Miscellaneous Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

My favorite kind of wild animal is on a plate.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

I have a great new motivation technique, it is donuts, and the possibility of more donuts.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication England Language Places

Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

It’s so simple to be wise… just thing of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Wisdom

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Family TV/Movie Quotes

You’re everywhere. You’re omnivorous.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it's what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Situations TV/Movie Quotes

If God didn't want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

How is education going to make me smarter?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Education TV/Movie Quotes

Just sit through this NRA meeting Marge, and if you still don't think guns are great then we'll argue some more.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes