Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Homer Simpson Page 3
I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Miscellaneous
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Fairs
I'd love to go to church, Honey, but I've got a lot of work to do around the bed.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Church
I wish God were alive to see this.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
God
TV/Movie Quotes
Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Children
TV/Movie Quotes
Internet
If The
Flintstones
has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Marge, you can't keep blaming yourself; just blame yourself once, then move on.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Blame
You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you will never have… a dinosaur.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Money
TV/Movie Quotes
Kids, kids, I'm not going to die; that only happens to bad people.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Death
TV/Movie Quotes
Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it's what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Situations
TV/Movie Quotes
A woman is a lot like a refrigerator: 6 feet tall, 300 pounds… it makes ice.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Women
You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Work
Strikes
You’re everywhere. You’re
omnivorous.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
Marge, your cooking only has two moves: Shake and Bake.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Cooking
TV/Movie Quotes
He's trying to hypnotize me, and it's not in that good Las Vegas kind of way.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Hypnotize
Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Music
TV/Movie Quotes
The blues
Good things don’t end in ‘eum,’ they end in ‘mania’…or ‘teria’.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Communication
Language
TV/Movie Quotes
I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Beliefs
God
TV/Movie Quotes
Then we figured out we could just park them in front of the TV; that's how I was raised and I turned out TV.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Children
Television
TV/Movie Quotes
They didn't have any aspirin, so I got you some cigarettes.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Cigarettes
I think I've figured this balloon thing out, Marge. It can go up and down, but not side to side or back in time.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Things
TV/Movie Quotes
Balloons
Page 3 of 5
« Previous
1
2
3
4
5
Next »