Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Homer Simpson Page 4
I want to be alone with my thought.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence
Thinking
Thoughts
If God didn't want us to eat animals, then why'd he make them so tasty?
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Animals
TV/Movie Quotes
Trying is the first step towards failure.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Failure
Problems
Situations
Trying
Donuts… is there anything they can't do?
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Donuts
You’re everywhere. You’re
omnivorous.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
My favorite kind of wild animal is on a plate.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Animals
TV/Movie Quotes
American donuts… glazed, powdered and raspberry-filled; now how's that for freedom of choice?
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Donuts
Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Family
TV/Movie Quotes
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Miscellaneous
TV/Movie Quotes
If he's so smart, how come he's dead?
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence
TV/Movie Quotes
If the
Bible
has taught us anything – which it hasn't – it's that girls should stick to girl's sports like hot oil wrestling…
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Girls
Sports
TV/Movie Quotes
Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Communication
Speech
Listening
Marge, you know it's rude to talk when my mouth is full.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Manners
Just sit through this NRA meeting Marge, and if you still don't think guns are great then we'll argue some more.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Guns
Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it's what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Situations
TV/Movie Quotes
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Children
Marriage
TV/Movie Quotes
Coffin
Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Children
TV/Movie Quotes
Internet
Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right, no, the duty, to make a complete ass of myself.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Prayer
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Jury duty
If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Fairs
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