Author: Homer Simpson Page 4

If I could say a few words… I would be a better public speaker.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication Speech TV/Movie Quotes

Give me liberty or… Ooooo… a jelly donut!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

It’s so simple to be wise… just thing of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Wisdom

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

I'm not a bath man myself; more of a cologne man.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, try to understand. There are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

God bless those pagans.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Note to self: Stop. Doing. Anything.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Self TV/Movie Quotes

Donuts… is there anything they can't do?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Music TV/Movie Quotes

Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don't even get paid for the stuff they do?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Family TV/Movie Quotes

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Miscellaneous TV/Movie Quotes

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, you know it's rude to talk when my mouth is full.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

American donuts… glazed, powdered and raspberry-filled; now how's that for freedom of choice?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

That horse had better win, or else we're taking a trip to the glue factory… and he won't get to come.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

All right, brain, you don’t like me, and I don’t like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
People Self TV/Movie Quotes

If God didn't want us to eat animals, then why'd he make them so tasty?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

I’d be a vegetarian if bacon grew on trees.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I've got to get out of this rut and back in the groove.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Life TV/Movie Quotes