Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Homer Simpson Page 4
How is education going to make me smarter?
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Education
TV/Movie Quotes
Operator – give me the number for 911!
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
9/11
English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Communication
England
Language
Places
My dreams have been shattered into shards of a broken dream.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Ambition
Dreams
Marge, you can't keep blaming yourself; just blame yourself once, then move on.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Blame
God bless those pagans.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Pagans
I'm not a bath man myself; more of a cologne man.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Baths
Cologne
Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Music
TV/Movie Quotes
The blues
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Entertainment
Television
TV/Movie Quotes
Just sit through this NRA meeting Marge, and if you still don't think guns are great then we'll argue some more.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Guns
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Prayer
I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Advice
Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Alcohol
Food/Drink
TV/Movie Quotes
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Internet – they have that on computers now?
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Computers
Internet
Trying is the first step towards failure.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Failure
Problems
Situations
Trying
Marge, every time I learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain. Remember that time I learned how to make wine and forgot how to drive?
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Mind
Self
TV/Movie Quotes
If the
Bible
has taught us anything – which it hasn't – it's that girls should stick to girl's sports like hot oil wrestling…
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Girls
Sports
TV/Movie Quotes
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Trying
You’re everywhere. You’re
omnivorous.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Malaprops
TV/Movie Quotes
Even communism works… in theory.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Communism
Page 4 of 5
« Previous
1
2
3
4
5
Next »