Author: Homer Simpson Page 5

Aah beer, the cause of – and solution to – all life’s problems. 

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

I'll make the money by selling one of my livers… I can get by with one.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

It takes two to lie, Marge. One to lie and one to listen.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Lies TV/Movie Quotes

If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Kids, kids, I'm not going to die; that only happens to bad people.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Death TV/Movie Quotes

I want to be alone with my thought.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence Thinking

A gun is not a weapon, it's a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Arms TV/Movie Quotes

If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Understanding

If the Bible has taught us anything – which it hasn't – it's that girls should stick to girl's sports like hot oil wrestling…

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Girls Sports TV/Movie Quotes

Operator – give me the number for 911!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes