Author: Homer Simpson Page 5

He's trying to hypnotize me, and it's not in that good Las Vegas kind of way.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

A woman is a lot like a refrigerator: 6 feet tall, 300 pounds… it makes ice.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes Women

Everything looks bad if you remember it.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Memory TV/Movie Quotes

What’s the point of having children if you can’t buy their love?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Children Emotions Family Love TV/Movie Quotes

A gun is not a weapon, it's a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Arms TV/Movie Quotes

I'd love to go to church, Honey, but I've got a lot of work to do around the bed.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

I like my beer cold… my TV loud… and my homosexuals flaming.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, try to understand. There are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Trying is just the first step toward failure.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Failure TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, every time I learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain. Remember that time I learned how to make wine and forgot how to drive?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Mind Self TV/Movie Quotes

All right, brain, you don’t like me, and I don’t like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
People Self TV/Movie Quotes

Even communism works… in theory.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes