Author: Homer Simpson Page 5

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

That horse had better win, or else we're taking a trip to the glue factory… and he won't get to come.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

A woman is a lot like a refrigerator: 6 feet tall, 300 pounds… it makes ice.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

My dreams have been shattered into shards of a broken dream.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

My favorite kind of wild animal is on a plate.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

It takes two to lie, Marge. One to lie and one to listen.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

What’s the point of having children if you can’t buy their love?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

If God didn't want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

We can hike anytime; this is our chance to see cars driving.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

I've got to get out of this rut and back in the groove.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)