Author: Homer Simpson Page 5

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication England Language Places

If God didn't want us to eat animals, then why'd he make them so tasty?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

What’s the point of having children if you can’t buy their love?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Children Emotions Family Love TV/Movie Quotes

The problem in the world today is communication… too much communication.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication TV/Movie Quotes

Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right, no, the duty, to make a complete ass of myself.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins and Eskimos.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

I’d be a vegetarian if bacon grew on trees.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Miscellaneous Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

All right, brain, you don’t like me, and I don’t like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
People Self TV/Movie Quotes

I just wish once someone would call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Situations TV/Movie Quotes