Author: Jack Nicholson

Dr. Green, how can you diagnose someone as an obsessive compulsive disorder, and then act like I have some choice about barging in here?

(1937 – ) American actor

I’m drowning here, and you’re describing the water!

(1937 – ) American actor

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right.

(1937 – ) American actor

Heeeere’s Johnny!

(1937 – ) American actor

You’re a disgrace to depression.

(1937 – ) American actor

Melvin: You make me want to be a better man.
Carol: That’s maybe the best compliment of my life.
Melvin: Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.

(1937 – ) American actor

You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police.

(1937 – ) American actor

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson; without them, I'm fat and 60.

(1937 – ) American actor

Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.

(1937 – ) American actor

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?

Melvin: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

(1937 – ) American actor