Author: Jane Sherwood Ace

You could have knocked me down with a fender.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops

I look like the wrath of grapes.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Appearance Emotions Food/Drink

Doctor, feel my purse.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Doctors Health

I’m a ragged individualist.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops

He has me sitting on pins and cushions waiting.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Misspokements Situations

I wasn’t under the impersonation you meant me.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops

Familiarity breeds attempt.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Relationships Sex Wordplay

Up at the crank of dawn.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops Time

He shot out of here like a bat out of a belfry.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Mixed metaphors Situations

The chickens have come home to roast.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops Wordplay

I am his awfully-wedded wife.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops Marriage Wordplay

Home wasn't built in a day.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops

I’m completely uninhabited.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Characteristics Malaprops

Seems like only a year ago they were married nine years!

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Marriage Time

The way things are these days, a girl's gotta play hard to take.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Relationships Situations Women

I’m a member of the weeper sex.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops People Women

I don’t drink, I’m a totalitarian.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink Misspokements

Well, you’ve got to take the bitter with the better.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Life