Author: Jason Alexander

Parking at a garage is like going to a prostitute. Why pay for it when you can apply yourself, and then may be you can get it for free.

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

The sea was angry that day my friends… like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter, I was raised to give up. It’s one of the few things I do well.

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect.

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

You should’ve seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

I always get the feeling that when lesbians are looking at me, they’re thinking, “That’s why I’m not a heterosexual.”

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

George: I don’t like when a woman says, “Make love to me.” It’s intimidating. The last time a woman said that to me, I wound up apologizing to her.

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

George: She calls me up at my office. She says, “We have to talk.”
Jerry: Ugh. The four worst words in the English language.
George: That or “Whose bra is this?”

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Jerry, just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
Beliefs Honesty Lies TV/Movie Quotes