Author: Jeff Foxworthy Page 4

I know if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Emotions Family Happiness Mothers

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Family Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Intelligence People Rednecks Television

You might be a redneck if… you’re banned from the Memphis Zoo because you disturb the monkeys.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals People Places Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Relationships Situations

You might be a redneck if… you believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Conflict People Rednecks Relationships

You might be a redneck if… you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said "concentrate."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you think the stock market has fence around it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you have more belt-buckles than pants.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you've painted a car with house paint.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… you have used a bar stool as a walker.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Health People

You might be a redneck if… the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Music People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder?… 'cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Conflict Killing People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you've ever worn a tube-top to a funeral home.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Clothing People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities People Rednecks Television

You might be a redneck if… you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things