Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Jeff Foxworthy Page 6
You might be a redneck if… your brother-in-law is your uncle AND your grandfather.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Relationships
Brother-in-law
Grandfathers
You might be a redneck if… your parents met at a family reunion.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Family
Parents
People
Rednecks
Family reunions
You might be a redneck if… you think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Sherlock Holmes
You might be a redneck if… your dad walks you to school because you’re in the same grade.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education
Family
Fathers
People
Rednecks
School
You might be a redneck if… your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Clothing
People
Rednecks
Belt-buckles
You might be a redneck if… your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or more 'cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence
People
Rednecks
Stupidity
You might be a redneck if… you smoked during your wedding.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities
Marriage
People
Rednecks
Smoking
Wedding
Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother – you’re not sure what you’ve got but you’re pretty sure you’re not going to like it.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Family
Relationships
Things
Diapers
Gifts
Grandmothers
You might be a redneck if… you have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Taxidermist
Telephone
You might be a redneck if… your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Bathing suits
Underwear
You might be a redneck if… an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Age
Old
People
Television
Walker-Texas Ranger
You might be a redneck if… your child’s first words are “Attention Kmart shoppers!
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Children
Family
People
Rednecks
Speech
K-Mart
You might be a redneck if… the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance
Body
Marriage
People
Rednecks
Wives
Halloween
Teeth
You might be a redneck if… you see a sign that says "Say No To Crack" and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Body
Drugs
People
Rednecks
Crack
I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks; the rest of them take after the other side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
America
Characteristics
Family
Fathers
People
Places
Good
You might be a redneck if… you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Things
Bathroom fixtures
Hot tub
You might be a redneck if… you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Marriage
People
Rednecks
Relationships
In-laws
You might be a redneck if… you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos
Children
People
Fly swatters
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder?… 'cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Conflict
Killing
People
Rednecks
Dental records
DNA
Murder
You might be a redneck if… you can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Trucks
You might be a redneck if… the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment
Music
People
Rednecks
Conway Twitty
Earthquakes
Page 6 of 8
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