Author: Jerry Coleman

You never ask why you’ve been fired because if you do, they’re liable to tell you.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Misspokements

Pete Rose has three thousand hits and three thousand fourteen overall.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn’t even started.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk!

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

(He’s) is wearing his hair differently this year, short and with curls like Randy Jones wears… I think you call it a Frisbee.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Appearance Hair Misspokements

National League umpires wear inside chest protesters.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

(They) should know each other like a book; they’ve been ex-teammates for years now.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Misspokements

When you lose your hands, you can’t play baseball.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Kent Abbott is in the on-deck circuit.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Malaprops Sports

The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Zane Smith is a guy who can shut you out as well as look at you.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

There's a deep fly ball… Winfield goes back, back… his head hits the wall… it's rolling towards second base.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Trailing 5-1, the Padres added an insurance run in the eighth inning.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Tito Fuentes is safe at second with a triple.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Eric Show will be oh-for-ten if that pop fly comes down.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Mike Caldwell, the Padres’ right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Many people think the Cards at the end of the wire will cross the finish line first.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Willie Davis is not as young as he used to be.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Misspokements

The new Haitian baseball can’t weigh more than four ounces or less than five.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

(He) started out here with the Astros and before that he was with the Orioles.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Misspokements Sports