Author: Jim Hightower

When I entered politics, I took the only downward turn you could take from journalism.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Politicians

But, as my mother used to tell me, two wrongs don't make a right… but I soon figured out that three left turns do.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Driving Situations

Even the smallest dog can lift its leg on the tallest building.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Characteristics Success

Politics isn't about left versus right; it's about top versus bottom.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Government Politics

He puts the 'goober' in 'gubernatorial.’

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Insults

Reagan promised everyone a seven-course dinner; ours turned out to be a possum and a six-pack.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Food/Drink

George W. [Bush] was born on third, but thinks he hit a triple.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Death Insults

If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush's head.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Insults Intelligence Money

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity… even a dead fish can go with the flow.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Beliefs Characteristics

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Animals Money

Oh good, now he’ll be bi-ignorant.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Communication Insults Intelligence Language

It's hard for the donkeys to win the race if they're going to carry the elephants on their backs.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Elections/Voting Government

There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Beliefs Government Politics

The Bible declares that on the sixth day God created man; right then and there, God should have demanded a damage deposit.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Beliefs God People