Author: Jonathan Katz

When I'm driving here I see a sign that says, CAUTION: SMALL CHILDREN PLAYING… I slow down, and then it occurs to me: I'm not afraid of small children.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Activities Situations

I had an MRI, where they put you in tube [for] 45 minutes, and I actually enjoyed the privacy.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Situations

Anybody who tells you that life is brief hasn’t been to motor vehicles recently.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Life Time

I hate going to funerals because I’m not a mourning person.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Communication Death Wordplay

Lately, I think that my wife has been fooling around because our parrot keeps saying, ‘Give it to me hard and fast before my husband, Jon Katz, comes home; and, yes, I’d love a cracker.’

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Marriage Wives

The sterile, arid environment created by truly jarring and discordant signage and gargantuan billboards is a turnoff.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Characteristics

I don't need drugs anymore, thank God; I can get the same effect just by standing up real fast.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Age Drugs Old

Last night I did a benefit for the survivors of a benefit I had done the week before. – doing benefits

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Entertainment

Cambridge is the kind of place where you can walk into a children’s bookstore and find a self-help section.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Children Intelligence Places

My wife, who tends to be overcautious, had the ultrasound last week, which, even the doctors say, is not necessary when you're adopting.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Characteristics