Author: Jonathan Swift

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

Everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

Fine words! … I wonder where you stole them.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

The bulk of mankind is as well equipped for flying as thinking.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

Promises and pie crusts are made to be broken.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in confederacy against him.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitch folk.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle.  

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist