Author: Josh Billings

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Intelligence Money

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
God Intelligence Wisdom

Woman’s influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Women

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn’t be any fun living in it, or profit.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools Intelligence Life Money

Suicide is cheating the doctor out of a job.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Death Doctors Health

There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions Family Relationships

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money Time

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry – for the clothes.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Clothing Insults Intelligence

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions God Love Marriage

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Dogs Emotions Love

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools Intelligence

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Dogs

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Accidents Money Poverty

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Intelligence Stupidity Wisdom

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Children Dogs

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can’t suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age Life Old

Some folks as they grow older grow wise, but most folks simply grow stubborner.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age Old Wisdom

Every man has his follies – and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Intelligence

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and give it to him.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs Opinion

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is… the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money People

Life is short, but it’s long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Life