Author: Josh Billings Page 3

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs Characteristics Opinion

Life is short, but it’s long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Life

The trouble ain't that people are ignorant; it's that they know so much that ain't so.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Intelligence People

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools Intelligence

When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools Intelligence

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money Time

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
People Work

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions Happiness

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Dogs Emotions Love

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Communication Honesty Reading/Writing

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can’t suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age Life Old

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Accidents Money Poverty

The happiest time in a man's life is when he is in the red hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money

Some folks as they grow older grow wise, but most folks simply grow stubborner.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age Old Wisdom

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is sea-sickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Intelligence Money

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that’s lost – he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Dogs Politicians

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs Situations