Author: Judy Tenuta

My mother always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything because I procrastinate; I said ‘Just wait.’

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Characteristics Family Mothers

It's hard to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenics just because she lives in your body.

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Health People Self

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit suicide?

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Characteristics Dating Relationships

I hated Geography… because it’s just like History… except without people and dates.

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Education History School Time

This guy says, ‘I’m perfect for you, ‘cause I’m a cross between a macho and a sensitive man.’ … I said, ‘Oh, a gay trucker?’

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Characteristics Men People